The childfree doom loop

It’s the adults that are the problem.

Another day, another story about falling fertility rates. In news to absolutely no one the UK remains on a downward slide. In 2025, births in England and Wales fell for the fourth year in a row to their lowest level in nearly half a century, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).

They have been falling steadily since 2010. There were 585,000 live births in 2025, a fall of 10,000 on the year before and the lowest overall figure since 1977.

The estimated number of children born per woman fell to just under 1.4 for England and Wales in 2025, down from 1.9 in 2010.

Women are also having their first child later than ever before, at an average age of 29.6 years old. If you stripped out births to women born overseas, the numbers would be even lower. Births where at least one of the parents was born outside of the UK increased to 40%, up from 30% over the same timeframe.

Many reasons have been offered for collapsing fertility rates across the west: improved education for girls and women, the cost of living especially housing, useless men, contraception and abortion, the smartphone and the demise of the slow set. Those who are in their peak fertile years sometimes say the ‘climate emergency’ stops them from having a child or just a general, the world is not a very nice place right now, explanation.

Speaking to the BBC “Stacey Waring, 40, a nurse from Nottingham, says global uncertainty has made her think twice about starting a family. She is one of an increasing number of people having either no or fewer children. “It’s just not a very nice world to bring people into, and why would I consciously do that when I can choose not to?” Waring continues, “If I’d had children, I’d have had to reduce my hours at work.” Also not being able to travel was cited as a reason, “I’m a huge traveller and go away whenever I can in my camper van, which I wouldn’t be able to do if I had children.” Children actually love camper vans…

Dr Paula Sheppard, an anthropologist at the University of Oxford, says the rising cost of living partly explains why people are waiting to have children. The other problem is the doom loop. Falling birth rates can have a self-perpetuating psychological effect, Dr Sheppard argues, because “if you grow up in a society not seeing lots of babies, then it becomes harder for you to have babies [yourself].” This is the big problem.

This means, as I explained before, that as people have fewer children society becomes intentionally or otherwise more hostile to children, making it harder for couples to take the leap to have children. This results in even fewer children creating an even more hostile society for children, and the vicious circle continues. Hence the rise in childfree restaurants, hotels and holidays.

(An adult free zone.)

Previously, I was pretty sceptical of the entire, the world is a terrible place argument, for not having children. But as I get older I can understand it.

It is a statistical fact that the longer you leave it to have children, the less likely you are to have children. This is because people become less flexible, more stuck in their ways and less willing to take risks as they age.

I understand why people want to wait until they are more financially secure to have children. The problem with that however is that the older you are, the longer you have been in the world. This world. And this world can be, not a very nice place.

I’m not even talking about the wars and famines. No, I’m talking about the sheer barbarism and evil that is directed against children. I suspect the X algorithm is pushing these stories into my feed, but its seems endless.

When I had my first child I was 29. Therefore I was an adult for about 10 years. If I had waited until now – 15 years later on planet earth – I’d still have a child. But I would be older, wiser and sadder.

Young people are risk takers by nature, they are also a bit more naive which can be helpful when having children. The young have much more energy, if a lot less money. Crucially, you have had less time on planet earth. Therefore you have read fewer stories about child murders, the sexual assaults, the cruelty and the long list of barbarous acts adults carry out against children.

Which brings me to all those childfree spaces that will become more common as the camper van women of the world increase. Look – if this is what you want, you do you. I get it. Other people’s children can be noisy and messy although personally I love to see families out on a sunny day.

But can I please have some adult free spaces? Because from where I’m standing it is the adults that are the problem not the children – at least not those under 10. It is the adults that are committing the assaults and killings and rapes and stealing and far worse crimes as listed above. They do it against other adults and often defenceless children.

Most children, who are not abused themselves, are kind and nice to be around. All children under 7 are innocent and delightful. They may act out and throw tantrums but this is rarely with malicious intent. For that, you need the adults.

I reckon if children could organise, they would have every right to have some ‘adult free’ spaces. Spaces to roam, explore their imagination and make friendships.

A future with mostly adults and very few children fills me dread. It’s the adults that are the problem, not the little ones.